“Now that’s silly!”

I really can’t think of a good reason why anyone would like a paper wallet made from pages of a 1990 U.S census from a Rand McNally Road Atlas.  What would anyone do with outdated statistics of a town or a county which have more or less expanded or contracted its whereabouts in the space of two decades???  Why would —

Um…  Well, I daresay these seemingly good-for-nothing paper artifacts with their innocuous black and white small print can be a great start to the next great writing enterprise, or perhaps at the very least, a temporary cure for writer’s block!
Just slide your non-writing hand in the outer pockets.  Open and close the contraption like a mouth.  Write down whatever it says in one ear and let it go out the other ear — yes, that one, the one closest to the hand that writes –  yes, make haste, for there are other things that need doing…  START —

Lindsay lives in a small town in Southeastern California (pop. 8338).  LoLeta lives in an even smaller town (pop. 800) in Northern California.  The two have been working for the same company for 3 years, but have never met each other face to face.  A week ago, they received instructions to work on a special project.   They were given the time, the place, and all the supplies they’ll need for their journey.

Tonight, they both find themselves in a tavern outside of Los Gatos, called the Diamond Bar.  Lindsay orders a Long Island; while LoLeta, orders a house drink, called the Mojavito.   A rockabilly group of native boys calling themselves, The Bull Shoals, are baying wildly on a window-flanked stage shaped like a half-moon, which to Loleta seemed more like a half-eaten donut, and kept laughing and pointing at “the crumbs that fall in the center”.  When Baxter, the lead singer, starts belting out a rendition of their hit single, “Yell,” Lindsay decides it’s time to vamoose and pulls LoLeta away from the throng of raucous locals.

“Lin, please, don’t walk so fast.  I feel like I just swallowed a wormbat.”

“What?!  Why do you talk like that?  A walk is exactly what you need right now, Lola!  I can’t believe you downed another of those awful thick globs behind my back!  Getting trashed is not part of the job!  We have a flight to catch in the morning!  How can you get on a plane thinking everything is half of something or — other — else –?”

“Relax, Lin.  AW, quit stepping on my toes!  You’re gonna make me pass out before we get some Reddyme.”

Lindsay looks into LoLeta’s dark eyes looking for signs of mischief.  “Are you playing with me?  What the heck is a  –?”  “Why can’t you just  — like normal???  Two hours ago, it was funny, but I’ve had ENOUGH!  I was supposed to meet up with someone in that bar, but you blew it!  I couldn’t leave you alone to look for my contact — probably scared him away — good thing he doesn’t know what I look like…  But what do we tell headquarters when we get there?”

Passport easily slips out of holder, so no fumbling in front of the TSA when you show them your papers. Outer and inner pockets for boarding pass, itinerary and other travel documents.  Oh sh#t!  where is that drink coupon???  LoLeta!!!!
(to be continued…